What Am I Gonna Do With This Tired Old Heart?

“I think I’m landing in a sort of…is it loneliness? I don’t know. I don’t what this grief tunnel is like. I don’t know how to frame my life anymore. I know that every day feels like a week…and that by the time I go to bed…I feel like…the morning was…I can’t even remember when it started. And it’s not bad. I don’t mind that time is longer than it seems…than it is…’cause I know it’s all gonna crunch at the end…and run out. I guess I’m kind of beginning the dark floundering of what it means to be me at this point and time, being 58 years old, having been through what I’ve been through. What do I need from myself? What do I need from other people? I don’t like having to answer these questions but the life that I’ve chosen has put me here. I’ve forgone any sort of sense of security or status quo. I’ve tried and failed at many relationships. I’ve had someone I love pass away. I’ve fought and lost with many people, places, things, institutions. But I have my success and I have my voice and, you know, I’m doing good work but it’s like WHAT? What does it mean when you wake up with the darkness, with the heaviness…but I don’t have chemical heaviness. It’s just sort of like, you know, what am I gonna do with this tired old heart? Huh? Answer me that?” – Marc Maron, WTF Podcast, Episode 1284

I hope Marc Maron doesn’t mind too much that I went back through a passage from his podcast, a passage that I’d already listened to about seven times, and was compelled to transcribe it.
I ALSO hope he doesn’t mind that I was mildly disappointed when he dovetailed this extraordinary/ordinary thought jumble into an ad for online therapy.
Actually?
After the mild disappointment passed, I laughed…and then I elevated my laugh and disappointment to some brand of respect because it seems (and I could be wrong) that Maron decided that if he was going to have sponsors, he was going to weave them into his work somehow.
Upon further reflection, I think a lot of the people who listen to him probably feel better about seeking help because, as I’ve discovered after spending hours listening to him, he really shares his warty-warts with us…ALL of them…and we all might think that if HE can make it through, while living a good life and experiencing a high degree of success and creativity, maybe we can do the same thing, too.
In fact, I KNOW that I’ve thought that.
How is that for an opener?
The morning I heard this specific monologue (if you will), I was in my Subaru, Jolene in the backseat, both of us bundled hard against the fucking winter that I hate, to hike into the forest for a couple of hours…because it makes me feel very good…and much to my delight and relief I found that Jolene quite digs it too.
It was also in that same forest on that cold fucking day with Jolene (with her on a accordion’d waist leash) that I realized she’s something of a flight risk.
Good to know.
To be honest, I don’t blame a girl for seeing something shiny and wanting to run towards it, at top speed, because I’ve done it myself.
Though in her sudden flurry of movement, Jolene the chihuahua mix almost pulled her friend Sharron off of her feet…the first time…and ONLY the first time.
I was ready for her sprint the next time.
Which is HOPEFULLY life, right?
I’d decided a few days before that hike, that I needed to fill all the future pandemical hours when I wasn’t working with learning, information, new views, new points of view, books, podcasts, creation, the ground under my hiking boots, walks, more and more and more hikes and as much joy as I could muster…INSTEAD of bouts of silence, mixed with staring up at the ceiling, endlessly thinking about the same stupid shit over and over again…on a worry merry-go-round about what place I’ve been that will finally give me the COVID.
As I told my own therapist a couple of weeks ago, this is indeed A LOT of time to be alone with one’s own thoughts…like, WAY more time than ANYONE should EVER be alone with their thoughts…because at this level of introspection, one starts to flip the pages of the past back farther than a person EVER should.
But something I also decided a while ago was to NOT willingly fall into a so-so pandemical relationship in order to NOT be alone with said thoughts. TRUTH BOMB. BOOM.
AND before you write me, I judge NO one who has done that very thing because we all have our own needs and stories.
But choosing to be alone also has it’s repercussions, n’est pas?
I have no idea why I went to french there, but I embrace it.
Mrs. Atkins, my grade nine French teacher, who was incidentally the choreographer of my high school production of Guys and Dolls…who once pointed out that I had thick thighs and needed to lose weight at the grand age of 13, and even wrote about it on my opening night card…would have been proud.
SEE HOW LONG I’VE BEEN WITH MY THOUGHTS?
I mean, I’ve obviously done some forensic-cold-case-past-done-wrong investigating…and I mean, who hasn’t lately…BUT I decided that it had to stop.
So, when I’m not working, I haul out the books, I look through the podcasts, buy more audio books, I listen to music, I write just for the sake of writing…and I then?
I began to ask myself some hard questions.
Questions like the following:

What do you want? Like, really want?
Where do you want to live?
What would you like to do?
How do you want to fill all the moments you have left?

I know, heady stuff, right?
Yeah, that drive across the country last Oct/Nov shook out a lot of cobwebs and activated a life clock…one that offered me MORE questions.

What would you wish you’d done if you died tomorrow?
What makes you happy? LIKE, REALLY HAPPY?
What is you greatest desire?
What are the stories you tell yourself that are NOT true?

So, with all that I just shared, you maybe can imagine why Marc Maron’s above thoughts hit me where I live.
I’d actually tried to listen to Maron a few years ago, back when I endeavoured FOR THE FIRST TIME to dive into the entertainment delivery system that was podcasts the and for some reason, found the whole genre wanting…no matter how hard my pal Rebecca tried to get me into THIS AMERICAN LIFE, I just couldn’t do it.
Now, two years into a pandemic, podcasts have become a comfort of sorts…a tool, anyhow.
Almost every day at some point, I scroll through podcasts galore to pick my poison, mystery, talk, interview, fictional storytelling, panel, you name it…and right now my crack is the multitude of back episodes of Maron’s show.
I find a interviewee that I like, CLICK, and hunker down in my driver’s seat, or walk around my kitchen making my dinner, or lay down on my mat and stretch, listening to his distinct style of interviewing and chat, and then do what? LEARN SOMETHING. (Check mark)
Also, the show is quite enjoyable…ending with him chawing away on a guitar riff of his choosing, which is HIS joy.
The thing I really like about him…the thing that kept me from him the first time BUT that’s kept me listening this time…is that this man is totally who he is, ALL the time.
He says things that piss me off, that take my breath away, that make me want to find him in person and shake his hand (I imagine that he would almost definitely hate that) AND that make me fussed enough to turn the show off for a while…happily, angrily or sadly…or just to have some silence in which to think about what I’ve heard.
As you can tell here, he’s inspired me and to be moved and/or inspired by something, by someone, helps keep my insides chugging along on the right track.
Maron’s got the same kind of authenticity (what a catch word for the times, I know) that drew me to Chelsea Handler on the socials.
These two people are nothing alike really, I mean they’re both comedians and interviewers, but both them are just THEM, or so it seems from this side of the internet, anyhow.
She was not my cuppa for many years.
So blunt…abrasive almost…she’s just…just so fucking HER…which repelled me, oddly enough.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m aware…mirror, kettle, pot.
Among many other things, she’s a proud pot smoker, she’s fiercely independent, irreverent, funny, creative and in your face…AND DOES NOT SEEM TO GIVE MORE THAN ONE FUCK WHAT WE THINK.
She was extremely successful just being herself…and herself seemed ambitious, curious and loud…which is still an uncomfortable and sometimes controversial thing for women to be, unbelievably.
Jesus, it’s 2022 for lord sakes.
My favourite thing she does…the thing that really caught me, striking a chord within me…was her naked downhill birthday ski. She wears skis, high socks, a helmet, bikini underwear, she covers one nipple with a Canadian flag and the other with an American flag, holds a joint in one hand and a drink in the other.
The first year I watched it on the INSTAGRAM, I looped it a couple of times…and I just thought, I wanna be that free to be me…which was, incidentally, another show I did in grade nine, the same year Mrs. Atkinson told me I was fat in a card…what a year.

Handler inspires me.
Maron inspires me.
And I fucking dig being inspired…it’s super food for the soul.

Rolling back in time to just after I I found out Frankie Drake Mysteries was not going to get another season, I asked myself the 1.0 version of all the above questions…

What do you wanna do now?

And oddly enough, the first person I thought of was Chelsea Handler.
Though I’ve spent many moments saying what’s on my mind, god knows, it may surprise some of you to know that know that I’ve censored myself a great deal.
I’ve clammed up.
I’ve thought one thing, and maybe said it softer…or not at all.
I feel like I spent a good portion of my life time, careful.
Careful to not offend, careful with my opinions, careful not to say no, careful that what I wrote was or said on stage was funny but measured, careful to be pleasing, careful in my outspokeness…carefully not totally being myself…or honouring myself.

It was for this very reason that I retooled my website and started this…this place where I gather my thoughts…this…this blog.
Fuck, I wish there was another word for it.

I started it, so it could first place I would REALLY say what I was thinking and NOT apologize for it.
Because (the following is said with all earnestness but without desperation) I really WANT to be myself and be good with myself…and MOST importantly, before I depart this mortal coil I want to really figure out who I am to the fullest expression…whatever the fuck that means.
What is the use, otherwise? What is the goal?

ALSO, if I am answering some of my big questions here and thanks for following along on the ride, I want big peace…and big passion.
I want to be with, and invest in, the people that throw spiritual logs on my fire and find/do the things bring me BIG joy.
I want to keep recognizing and learning how to say a quiet goodbye to the people and things that continually gum up the works.
As Brene Brown and Maya Angelou have talked about, I want to feel like the most important person to belong to, is me…a project that isn’t an easy one to embark on no matter where you’re at in your life.
And time is moving you guys, precious time that isn’t to be wasted…so, I better get started, or ACTUALLY I better continue on with purpose, because…you guys…I’m ALREADY in motion.

You might think that just being yourself might be easy.
Hysterically and frustratingly, it’s not easy.
My belief on this is that so many of us spend a great deal of our lives constructing an invisible suit of armour made up of coping skills, of ideas about who we should be, of reactions to trauma, and on and on…that taking it off seems simply fucking crazy.
Why would anyone lay themselves open to hurt, ridicule or who knows what? What if people don’t like who is underneath it all?
If you weren’t taught how to be yourself early in life, finally being yourself can be a process not for the faint hearted.
It’s about discovering things.
For me, it’s a bit about listing things.

As you know I love to make a list AND I’ve been grappling with what to title THIS particular list of thoughts, things, discoveries that is part of my journey to full armour removal, and this is what I came up with…it just covers it all, right now.
This list, much like periomenopause symptoms, is all over the place, can get overheated and speaks to many things.
And like anything that’s about finding yourself or hearing yourself, take what you want and leave the rest.
I’m not here to tell you what to do…just catalogue what works for me, just in case it might also work for you
I’m only the boss of me, thank god.
AND maybe a bit of Jolene.

THINGS THAT ARE ALL ABOUT WHAT I’M DOING WITH MY TIRED OLD HEART AND MIND

1. BIGGER CAN BE BETTER AND SOMETIMES NOT. When I was on my trip across Canada, for a reason I cannot remember, I bought a t-shirt in JASPER that was about two whole sizes smaller than what I would usually buy…AND IT KINDA FUCKING CHANGED MY LIFE. I’ve spent years in t-shirts that were baggy, that I continually plucked away from my offending stomach or rolls. But last October, when I stood in my room at the rustic but wonderful Marmot Lodge in Jasper, looking at myself in the mirror, wearing this super soft, heather grey t-shirt with it’s 70’s style logo, I was totally SURPRISED that I just loved the way it hugged me, physically and visually. After that, every-time on that trip I stopped somewhere that I loved, I went to a high-end tourist shop, and bought the softest city logo t-shirt I could find, two sizes smaller than my usual…and somehow every time I pulled one over my head and onto my body, the joy continued. When I got home, I went straight to my t-shirt drawer and threw away EVERY baggy t-shirt I owned, replacing them with my new handful of softer, smaller, brightly coloured ones. I LOVE putting on those t-shirts, I love they way they make me feel…and I love that they fit ME…and did not hide me. It was a very big lesson that something so very small (in size, idea and form), made such a very big change. FREE THE BELLY. FREE THE BOOBS. FREE THE BACK-ROLL. FREE THE MUFFIN TOP. JUST BE FUCKING FREEEEEE!!! Why the eff not?

2. DECIDE HOW YOU FEEL BEFORE SOMEONE DOES IT FOR YOU…AND THEY WILL. One of things I remind myself of daily, hourly and sometimes BY the FRIKKEN minute is to NEVER again let someone tell me how to feel and then, with that information or judgement, feel compelled to rearrange my own round feelings and put them into someone else’s very tiny square hole. THIS is something that I practice and think about a lot. I cannot belong to myself till I embrace my own shit…and be kind with myself about it, whatever IT is.

3. TATTER TITS IS JUST FUNNY. A few years ago, the craft service department for film and TV started using an app for everyone on production on which we could order our food. This app sends out alerts regarding what snacks are available throughout the day…which indeed is pretty cherry. Anyhow, one day, we all got texts that said, “TATER TITS ARE UP!”…a typo with made me laugh ALL day. Like ALLLLLL day. It just caught me in the feels at just the right time. Last month, I day played on a show with the same craft service truck and halfway thru the day we all got a text…and you can guess what it said, “TATER TITS ARE UP!!”. This was the moment I realized this was craft’s small way of fucking with the system and I was so there for it. Fight the power whatever way you can, whatever way gives you joy, even if it includes boobs…ESPECIALLY if it includes boobs. Some feminists might not agree…but that’s okay. I REALLY ENJOY THE SILLY SHIT…even if it’s about boobs. But if you are against boob humour, you do you.

4. DON’T STAND SO CLOSE TO ME. You know what? I’ve done a bunch of stuff MY WHOLE FRIGGEN LIFE that I really don’t enjoy, just to fit in or not cause waves…but I am going to stop them one by one. First to go, crowded bars. I hate crowded bars. I hated them before COVID and I hate them even more now. I just do. I hate trying to yell over people, I hate being packed in, I hate being jostled, I hate just sitting there and because I’m not a big drinker, I nurse the same drink for hours I find no fun in this whatsoever. Put me in an open room, at a round table, with beautiful food, where I can see and hear everyone ANYDAY. NO MORE CROWDED BARS UNLESS I KNOW THE ENTIRE CROWD. ENTIRE.

5. NO MORE IN HINDSIGHT-FIGHTS. I will STOP rehashing two, four, ten, or twenty year old fights or injustices in the shower, in cars or just before falling asleep. It’s not worth it. The moment has passed. That was then, this is now. I will do my VERY best to examine it once, maybe twice, think about how I would do better for myself if faced with the same situation next time AND THEN WHEN IT COMES UP AGAIN FOR REGURGITATION, AND WE ALL KNOW IT WILL, JUST LET IT THE FUCK GO!!! I will not let garbage-shit live rent-free in my head when I could be dancing with my dog. Or writing something that brings me joy or makes me think. Or sleeping soundly. Or just napping. Or doing any other thing, really.

6. DON’T PUSH ME, ME. I’ve started stretching at least four times a week. My plan was to do it everyday, but I’m trying to live in the real world and not disappoint myself, so four times a week seems doable. ALSO, I’ve started working out some long term, chronic pain with an osteopath…because training my dog has had me bending and crouching in ways that I’ve not for almost five years…and it shows. Feeling my body getting older is always a bit of shock to me, but I’m striving to, again, live in the real world, keeping my muscles, joints and skin suit shell in good functioning order. When I’ve stretched in the past, I usually pushed myself…which is actually a strong theme in my life…but working with my trainer, Adrian and my osteopath, Sara, has taught me to be far gentler in my approach. When the penny dropped for me regarding how hard I push myself past or through pain, I had to go to bed for a couple hours and have a cry. No more. Kindness to body, kindness to heart, kindness to feelings, kindness all round…and patience…loads of patience. Why is being kind to ourselves and patient with our hearts, minds and bodies such a hard concept to practice? FREE THE KINDNESS. FREE THE PATIENCE. FREEEEEEEEEEE.

7. THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST. I will question all limits…fiercely. Especially if someone else starts trying to tell me what mine are.

8. NAP, PEOPLE. I will take a fucking nap whenever possible.

9.DECIDE WHAT YOU LIKE BEFORE SOMEONE DOES IT FOR YOU…AND THEY WILL. I’m deciding what I like, before anyone can sway me either way. I have bought so many things I never used or wore because I didn’t trust my own instincts….weird dresses, loud make up, books…girl. What do YOU want? Even if my ass is hanging out of something, but I love how it hangs, I will buy the outfit.

10. JUST SAY NOPE. Why is it so fucking agonizing to say no? If I want to say no, I’m gonna bite the bullet and SAY NO. AND we don’t have to explain ourselves. I don’t know HOW many times my therapist has said this to me. I’ve always been a classic say-no-feel-guilty-for-saying-no-and-then-waterfall-my-explanation person. WE DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS. JUST SAY NO IN PEACE…and THEN softly close your mouth on the further explanation.

11. WALK IT OFF. It is with great relief that I’ve found that many things seem not NEARLY so shitty or insurmountable after a good walk and/or a deep breath…or both…in any order.

12. …TO A MOUNTAIN. I woke up one day, and felt in the pit of my gut that I want to wake up and be able to take that walk or that breath REALLY close to mountains. As soon as I can manage…because…

12A.….we all deserve to be happy. ALL. DESERVE. TO. BE. HAPPY. DISCLAIMER: I deeply believe that happiness should NEVER come at someone else’s expense.

13. NOW, JUST SAY YES!! Oh my god, number 13 and I’m still going. Okay. This is one of my faves…Recognize what we are good at, notice what we excel at, celebrate that expertise, believe in our talents, AND when someone asks us if we are good at that thing, say yes. SAY YES. SAY FUCKING YES!!!! THIS IS THE POINT TO REALLY SAY ALL THE YES!! It’s a light and bushel thing, so it’s even in the the good book, people. I’m not a subscriber to the “being confident but not too confident”, nor am I a subscriber to the good book. Confidence is cool. I believe this. No one wants to hire someone that is “okay” at something.

14. SIDEBAR OF NEW THINGS. Dark Chocolate is my new kink, throw in some caramel, and it’s on, people. How did I miss dark chocolate ALL these years. NEW THINGS CAN BE AWESOME…UNLESS THEY ARE IN CROWDED BARS, then I’m out.

15. I LIKE ICE CREAM, DO YOU LIKE ICE CREAM? Speaking of new things, it seems I’ve become a bit set in my ways BUT I really want to be open to making new friends. Jerry Seinfeld, who has shown himself to be a bit uninformed and careless but I digress, made a joke about not interviewing new people for friendship after a certain age, but what if we all embraced introducing new people into our lives. We if we just called up people who we dig and made a plan to get together for a walk? This is how we start to embrace finding new ways to live our lives, right? I’m gonna practice this.

16. VICTORIOUS. When I wake up feeling dark, unsure, and don’t want to face the day, I remind myself of all the things I’ve made it through…in order…all of it…in glorious detail. I had a friend who was feeling overwhelmed by bad news, so for a week or so, I sent a message to her every day of all the things I could remember that she’d done, that were badass. This is something I’ve practiced for years while fiercely confronting and battling my anxiety and panic…and it really works. List your victories, and fucking cheer yourself on. It’s sounds lordy, but it really works. If you aren’t gonna really toot your horn, who the fuck will? Your mind and nervous system literally calms down under the comfy, weighted blanket of your achievements.

17. YOU AREN’T DREAMING BIG ENOUGH – OPRAH. I just started to do something that I find kinda transformative. Okay. Stay with me here. For years I think I put a dome, a ceiling of sorts over my life, based on some weird and untrue idea of what I thought I was capable of, or what I thought I deserved. One day, after a particularly amazing run of good things, I sat still on the end of my bed, and out of nowhere felt the sheer vastness of what life could be. It was almost overwhelming. I felt like the dome over my life disappeared and in a way that raised bumps on my arms, for a few moments I felt a clear vision and the size of what my life could be, if I worked hard and believed. It closed back soon after…but there really is no going back after you’ve felt that feeling…and I think the only thing holding us back, me back, from that vast possibility, is good old fear. I have since experienced this vision, this feeling time and time again. So, now, sometimes when I meditate, I picture the dome opening. When I am not meditating I ask myself the questions that I listed above. It sometimes its still overwhelming…but the more I do it…the more attainable it all seems…and the more excited I get.

18. WHAT’S THE STORY? Shawn Hitchins told me a while ago, when he was making a big decision, that he was going to listen to his heart and not to his stories…and that little tidbit tripped the lock to something I’ve been working on for a few years, which is the key to negating my angst and panic…I’m not my thoughts or my feelings (mind or body). Both of those things will always pass by like clouds on a windy day. They just do…everything is always in motion. But my heart WILL tell me what I love, what I want, if I let the stories and feelings ride the clouds. If I just let myself get a bit quiet. I’ve worked on learning this again and again…and the work continues…and that’s just fine.

19. The River I Stand In… I had the following Joseph Campbell quote up by the front door in my Stratford house for years.

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

I loved that quote, but it was temporarily wrecked for me when someone who used to be in my life told me that they looked at it all the time while they were trying to leave my life. Gross, right? BUT here we are, retrospect time, gut check time, truth time, I didn’t want that life, either. I could have been parted from it in a far more honest way, but here I am. I like the road I’m on now. Okay, honestly, I love the road I’m on now…and I challenge myself EVERY DAY to be bolder…to consider bigger questions and futures. I think life is so much bigger than we could even imagine…and I also believe we can change the road we are driving on at any time. So, I take the quote back, now…I reclaim it. CHALLENGE YOUR INNER PROGRAMS.

20. Wait! Don’t WAIT. Lastly, I feel like I’ve spent my whole life waiting to be perfect. What I didn’t know, what my life, my therapist, my learning, my reading, my listening and my quiet has taught me, and it’s one of the, if not THE FUCKING HARDEST lesson to learn, is that I’m already perfect. I WAS perfect, I continue to be perfect. Now. And Now. And Now. “AND, I don’t wanna wait!”, said Paula Cole. And I WILL NOT wait anymore for whatever sign I’ve waiting for from the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, or the Gatekeepers to tell me to do the big stuff…the truly joyful stuff…the soul stuff. I am going to do it now. And now. And now. And nap. And now. Our perfect self is DELICIOUSLY imperfect.

BEFORE YOU GO ANY FARTHER, I am by no means a master at ANY of the above things and some of them are still a real struggle some days…but the work is very worthy to me, so I continue ever onward…inspired by Maron, by Campbell, by Camus, by R.M. Drake, by Handler, by Hitchins, by Angelou, by Brown, by Zentilli, by Wadsworth-Moore, by Atkinson, by Weinberg, by Bickerton, by Holsey, by Stringer, by Wright, by Liddiard, by Jennings, and by the MANY people who are warriors, who are brave, who are them, who already are boldly themselves, OR in the thick of or in the midst midst of endeavouring to just be themselves and listen to their hearts…who aren’t afraid to share their own bumpy, meteoric, quiet, or loud journeys.

I practice, practice, practice talking to the deepest part of my desires, wishes, wants and hopes…the deepest, most knowing parts of me.
One by one, I’m questioning ALL my long-held beliefs…in search of the answers…from the unafraid me.

What do I need from people?
What do they need from me?

So many questions that deserve worthy answers.

This whole journey still feels a bit scary sometimes…but it also feels so VERY good other times.

Like dark chocolate, with caramel, NOT consumed at a crowded bar, but eaten while living near the mountains with my dog, wearing a soft t-shirt that hugs me…after an amazing afternoon nap in the sun…like that kind of good. THAT IS FUCKING GOOD, RIGHT!!?!?!

What am I gonna do with this tired old heart?
Well, first and foremost?
I going to fucking listen to it.

March 19th, 2022 – S.M.
Toronto, ON.

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P.P.S. This song has been running through my head over and over while I wrote this. I used to sing it. I didn’t know the love that I was looking for in the nick of time? Was mine.

Nick of Time- Bonnie Rait

A friend of mine, she cries at night
And she calls me on the phone
Sees babies everywhere she goes
And she wants one of her own
She’s waited long enough she says
And still he can’t decide
Pretty soon she’ll have to choose
And it tears her up inside
She is scared,
Scared to run out of time

I see my folks are getting on
And I watch their bodies change
I know they see the same in me
And it makes us both feel strange
No matter how you tell yourself
It’s what we all go through
Those lines are pretty hard to take
When they’re staring back at you
Oh Oh Oh, scared you’ll run out of time

When did the choices get so hard
With so much more at stake
Life gets mighty precious
When there’s less of it to wa-a-a-aste
Mmm-m-m-m-m-m
Mmmmmmm, scared you’ll run out of time

Just when I thought I’d had enough
And all my tears were shed
No promise left unbroken
There were no painful words unsaid
Yo-o-o-u came along and showed me
I could leave it all behind
You opened up my heart again
And then much to my surprise

I found love, baby, love in the nick of time
(Love in the nick of time)
I found love darlin’, love in the nick of time
(Love in the nick of time)
I found love baby, love in the nick of time
Ooooooo-ooo-ooo-whoo-ooo
Yeah baby
Uhhhhh-huh-uh
Found love…
In the nick of time…
Thought I’d given up…
Given up baby…