What an effing week.
So tired….so almost famous…so almost not…and so almost cut off by a young upstart latino gay.
The sublime…the ridiculous…welcome to my life once more.
Less you all roll your eyes at the drama that occurs in this story…it is not for the ‘Over the Top’ impaired ….just as a spoiler.
George and I have been waiting for some interesting luck … and it came… thank you Universe…
But it always seems to come all at once….ya know..rains …pours…whatever!
This week I was booked to do a TV series, a cabaret, a commercial dance rehearsal and then a shoot of said commercial and end it all off with an appearance at the Fetish Fair.
Yup….the Fetish Fair and a Walmart commercial…I wonder what one thinks about the other.
Oh don’t I think I am fancy?
Anyhow….it all started with the costume fitting for Walmart….the costume lady called me ‘Shannon’ and then handed me a pair of the grossest most ill fitting pants in the live long day and a pair of orthopdedic shoes and a blue Walmart smock….
I knew that the time to suck it up had begun…after doing the first part of the fancy TV series shoot the week before…oh dear…it is always a bit humbling to do a commercial…NOT THAT I AM NOT HAPPY FOR THE WORK OR THE CASH…but you are definitely part of the product and treated as such…
So, I leave the wardrobe fitting a bit daunted but still a bit happy as some cool people would be there for the shoot with me….Karla Jang and Shawn Byfield to name a couple peeps….did I mention that it was a 12 hour ALL NIGHT SHOOT?
WHAT?!?!?!
So, I get up the next morning at ….well….it was early and off I go to my dance rehearsal for the commercial…I am thinking ” How hard can it be? It is 24 seconds?”…I am 40…have I mentioned that yet?
So…we dance ALL DAY…ALL DAY…no breaks…no sitting really…not hard dancing but this gal was working it all day! Oh my.
I get home later after dancing ALL DAY and take a nap and get my shit together to go to Statlers for my cabaret gig…which goes well…my dear Mark Harjes is playing for me and we got a nice little crowd…but mamma is tired from all the highkicking…and after the gig goes home to sleep because….
She has to get up at 7:00am to get to set….yes, I am all fancy that way…get to set…to shoot her…am I still writing in the third person?…to shoot my last day on Murdoch Mysteries…I have not yet mentioned that I shot two days the week before at the Botanical Gardens in Hamilton..nice…and while there met someone who grew up around the corner from me who mistook me for my way older sister Gwen…his name is… Ronald McDonald…no shit…even he looked sheepish about that.
So, it was nice to come back to set…it is all old timey so I had a big old costume on and fancy hair…but not as fancy as George.., who, oddly enough, ( thank you universe) is also on the same episode as a big old rich dude and I am playing…his maid…I mean, really.
So, George and I sitting on set together in our costumes talking on our cellphones … just like Brangelina…but different.
After I am done shooting…which was a fab experience…there was crew there from “Mean Girls” and “Music Man” movie there…and other cool actors like Kate Hewlett and Kristina Nichol …it is one of the lovliest sets I have ever been on…the director hugged me when I left…nice…after the shoot I go home and take a melatonin and nap for two hours…but because I took a melatonin I don’t know if the nap counts…and then at 8:00pm drive my ass to France…or Thornhill… and park my car in front of a Walmart store and gird my loins for my twelve hour, all night shoot.
First of all, our holding area was an aisle in the men’s underwear section.
I shit you not.
Now, the crew and all were great to us…it was a fine shoot…but sitting on a folding chair in the men’s underwear section dressed in orthopedic shoes can get one down.
But the people who were there made it fun.
But the sun came up …and Walmart opened at 7:00am…and as we shot we heard to beep of the registers start.
I drove home and made about 2 questionable driving moves…maybe more…
So, then it was off to the Church Street Fetish Fair…I ain’t gonna lie to you…I was excited!
My first outdoor cabaret.
Woo hoo.
I had a nice little stage to work on and the straight but not narrow Steve Thomas would be playing for me….
When I asked security who the host was he pointed to a well turned out young man in a lime green speedo and knee socks.
He actually wore them well.
He seemed to have no idea who I was or what I was doing…
Oddly, I am used to that.
There was suddenly a chaotic confusion and I was thrown onstage early…the host asked Steve and I our names and intro’d us as “Steve and Sharron” …like Steve and Edie….but Fetish-ie…let me take this moment to tell you that I was wearing black sheath from Fashion Crimes and domanatrix pony tail….thank to a suggestion from Jeigh Madjus…and it was 1000 degrees out…let the flop sweating begin….
There was a small but mighty crowd…I knew it would get bigger as my real start time got nearer.
Do you know how distracting it is to sing Britney Spears when a naked dude wearing a leather mask is being led by on a chain….do you?
I really had to focus people.
Then as I got to the end of my Paula Abdul number…my act is classier then it sounds…it was going quite well and then the earlier mentioned young latino host cut me off.
What?
From the back of the stage?
My crowd…BOOO.
Me…WHAT?
Steve…are we done?
I did one more song, bringing that silly host up to interact with …he was wooden as a bo
ard…he had nothing…

So, I said my goodbyes and host boy asked me ” oh I am sorry…did you want to keep singing?”
WHAT?!?!?!
Then my people audience began to show up…because I had only done 20 minutes…and had started 10 minutes early.
Oh…it was sad…being cut off by a young latino who doesn’t know my fabulousness…where is the humanity.
I think that life just likes ya to not get too big for your boots…
OR I think that young boy needs to check out my website….
Either way….what a fucking week….maybe you were bored…maybe you were interested…who the eff cares…I am tired as shit.

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