Dear Garfield, You Suck. What I Weigh is NONE of your business. Signed, Sharron
SO… HERE WE GO AGAIN!! Lord and taylor…
Yesterday, I read this wonderful article about a woman, who happened to be big, who met and fell in love with a “conventionally” (her word…with the way the world is I think it fits…sadly) sized, handsome man. She was filled with issues about their relationship…that were all hers. He always loved her the way she was…and was astonished that she didn’t see it. Well, again, if this is the world we live in, it is easy…very easy to understand.
I put this article up with the caption “: ) say it, mama”.
Half way thru the day, mixed in with positive comments and many likes was a comment from a dude named Garfield. He said, and I paraphrase, “Acceptance is great, but anyone 40 pounds overweight needs to lose weight because they are unhealthy.”
It was not surprising, but still, none the less saddening, maddening and a little unexpected. I left up it for a while…I wrote and rewrote a hundred things….during this time many people who follow my page wrote curses, eloquent statements (that also included curse words) and I could hear the collective sighs from all the big girls and boys who read along. I wrote that I was going to leave it up for a while, so that people could see what we are up against. I do not even know this guy. Because all of my posts are public (since I got rid or/blocked that stalker a month or so ago…I kid you not…) a lot of people like to write their thoughts. And that is what it is. Before you scream at me to tell me about limited settings, I use ALL my social media to sell my shows, to keep in touch with people I have met around the world, to have an internet foot print, which one really needs if you are an independent, commercial artist who is selling product (shows, merch and whatnot). So, as a result I deal with some…what do they call them? Trolls. But I do not leave up negative, hurtful or shaming posts. Yesterday, I was just so disheartened that someone would post a careless comment on such a positive and life affirming article.
Yes, careless. It carelessly shames people into the dark.
Because you know what? My weight? Your weight? No one’s business. This article was about accepting yourself the way you are…
My journey towards accepting myself the way I am continues…always continues…but I feel a great deal closer to this goal since I embraced my truth.
Since I started to not care about telling stylists and sales people what my size is.
Since I started to see it as a fact not a shame.
It is my size. It is. And that is (as I said in an earlier post) just fine. As this gradual “coming to terms” started to roll through my life, starting, as many of you know with my time on TV in Canada Sings (when I was so worried to be big on TV and people embraced, and some even celebrated, me exactly the way I was) it was a hesitant but beautiful thing.
I went to my doctor four years after my last physical. I had not gone for those four years because I felt ashamed to have gained weight and I did not want to hear it from her. And my physical results came back… perfect. Which is really not a surprise…I have good genes, I ate reasonably well, and work out (swimming, walking, bike riding) She, of course as doctors do, wishes I would lose weight…but that day I went back to see her after four years I told her my truth. And ever since I have had a more open and positive relationship with her. I have gone back every year since…and always…my physical results? Perfect.
It is. And that is just fine.
I started to give away, throw away, put away and sell all the clothing that I was waiting to fit back into. I started to build a new wardrobe. It is just friggen clothes. You can buy new ones…there are wonderful new stores online, and in the malls and Old Navy has wonderful stuff for big girls (and boys…though that is more online)…affordable, lovely pieces…that you can feel wonderful and proud in.
When I began to continually live my truth, I started to outfit myself in ways that were provocative, colourful and…and, most importantly, in things that fucking fit.
And, I really believe my overall health (mental and physical) got and gets better and better.
You see…the last time I went to my physical (a couple of months ago) I had a long talk with my wonderful doctor about giving up all dieting forever…because it has never worked for me…ever…ever…ever…up and down…up and down…so hard on your heart. So bad for your heart. My plan now (and I thought about it a lot…it really came to me after my “What if I am the way I am. And that is just fine” moment that I had this past summer) was to eat well, never diet again, let myself eat things that I craved in moderation and let my body find it’s own place.
What a concept.
And all these things came to me ( and I continue to have epiphanies every day) the day I let go of the shame the fashion industry, main stream media, and generally crappy people forced down my throat in regards to the way I look.
I will say it here…I will say it loud…I say it a lot in my show…but if you give two craps about what I or someone else weighs…keep it to yourself…live with your own issues and ideas.
I am not in this to have fights with people…if you want to have a conversation about this with me…and your view is you are only thinking of my health…then…BYE!!!
People know how much they weigh. We know how effing much we weigh. You telling us is NOT going to make a difference. I don’t think any positive feeling came out of telling someone that they didn’t look they way you thought they should.
THINK ABOUT IT!
Love love love people. If you let your light shine on yourself and them, maybe their light will turn on…and they will live their own truth from underneath the mountain that is shame.
Walking away from shame was the first step to true healthy living for me. And that healthy living may include me weighing more than makes some people comfortable. So the eff what?
Let us all mind our own business, shall we?
Mind our own business…and that business is us.
So, in conclusion, Garfield, I would like to tell you here…and some might think it harsh…but FUCK OFF. Enough.
And I wanted to give you the finger in the following picture…but I could not bring myself to do it…it just seemed to harsh…even for me…so, instead? I give you the horns…because I. Rock. This. Shit.