Today, I was defriended…by one of my heroes.
I am not going to lie about it either…it fucking hurt my feelings!
This time is always a bit challenging for me…a big project done…many others yet to begin…others in a holding pattern…and you know what I’m not?
I am sure you are all surprised. Opposite day.
AND I am not good with transitions that I can’t write myself…for the record, I am AWESOME with other kinds of transitions…musical and stuff…not that I want to crow or anything…well, clearly I do a bit.
Is that wrong?
Is it wrong to crow.
That is a fine question…one I might be sorry that I asked…but here we go.
And, for the record and for anyone who is following along, I seem to chat about this subject at least twice a year.
I am doing a show…yes, I know…another show…a Christmas Show with my husband, George (On December 20th @ Buddies in Bad Times…it is a Christmas Sing A Long…get tickets online, click here! https://tickets.buddiesinbadtimes.com/TheatreManager/1/tmEvent/tmEvent165.html …yup, see what I did there?) and every time I begin publicity for anything I have to gird my loins, as it were…there is always someone who writes me and complains…sometimes directly, sometimes indirectly and sometimes (my personal fave) passive-aggressively. And I take a name or two off my email list. I put a person on my Facebook NO SEND list…although, to be fair, people can remove themselves from getting event invites…but I don’t want to piss anyone off so I have a special list on my desk of people not to click when sending an invite.
There is a lot of info flying around on social media…so, I really won’t blame people who don’t want to hear all about it…who have been on my email list since Jesus was a small child and they are not wanting to hear about my exploits anymore…but it always hurts a teeny-tiny bit or sometimes a lot (depending on how the email is worded)…but that is me…I am sensitive and all that…and I will eventually get over it…and/or, clearly blog about it.
(I have learned to love the smiley face…so shoot me.)
Yesterday, after I send out my mass email and set up the Facebook event for the show, I received a couple of “loin-girding” emails…one of them was from someone who so clearly has a great disdain for what I do, or at least that is what came across in the email…and, to be clear, they are in the entertainment business…and I went…out of interests-sakes a’course… to their WEBSITE and on it was a quote that basically said, “Don’t be too proud or shine too brightly…it is the people who work quietly and toil alone who receive their true reward.”…now that isn’t exactly what it said…but that was the gist…on their WEBSITE.
Lord and Taylor.
It scratches my soul a bit…come on…let us be honest…it does…but…really?
Don’t be proud…don’t shine…toil in solitude.
Don’t Crow…that is what is says, really…don’t crow.
And that just makes me sad…and a bit mad.
No matter how strong a person is or convicted they are in their mission these kind of messages make one feel like a fame whore…or someone who is so conceited about their work that they should move to another country…a country far, far away.
I know I send a lot of emails.
I know that I am a Facebook-Spinner and Twitter….fleeter…twinter…jibber…you know what I mean…and these things have helped me a great deal.
I am very thankful for these tools.
They have filled my houses.
They have helped me get my shows greater recognition.
They have kept a community up to date about my and other peoples work in a way nothing else could…if they are so inclined.
Most importantly, they keep me in touch with artists, audiences and supporters from all over the world.
Social media is a very useful tool.
One that I try to be very mindful of.
(This is the point that I like to thank the people that have kept me on their feed…which, incidentally, you don’t have to! If you don’t like having me on your news feed…and I understand this and will never see if you take me off…fragile feelings saved…just hold your cursor over my name and you will see a variety of options…hide me…unsubscribe from me…so many options.)
We cannot afford fancy publicists…yet.
Social media is one of an artistic entrepreneurs greatest helps…in a country that does not believe in stars, we have to create our own hooks to hang our stuff on. (Fancy)
Now, I also always say, if you don’t like it…and please keep in mind people…this is mostly about the people who feel so affronted by my emails and/or messages that they write me to tell me so…or to ask me who I think I am…one of my personal fave lines…if you don’t like it…unfollow or defriend me.
Which, as I have said, can hurt my fragile feelings but I will eventually get over it…
Isn’t it funny how a defriending can knock the wind out of your lungs? Make you wonder what you did? Make you feel smaller about yourself?
Make you take FACE BOOK TOO SERIOUSLY!?!?!
Well, many years ago, in my twenties, I went to see a performer.
Seeing their work was like a lightbulb coming on.
I was entranced, enthralled and inspired…it was back then that I had started to do cabaret and watching this performer made my path clear.
What a gift.
Many years later I had the chance to meet this performer, tell them how much they influenced me and ask them questions about their journey.
I was so grateful. And they even came to see my show.
They we became Facebook friends.
I never communicated very much with this person…though, I was always tickled to add a couple words to a chain of comments…tickled.
Yesterday, I went to their page…after a long, long time… to just check it out and see where they were at…and you know what happened next, right?
Oh my lord…the over reaction on my part was speedy and full.
What had I done?
FACE BOOK IS TOO MUCH!!!
When you write someone to tell them how they have affected you by their defriending…FACE BOOK IS TOO MUCH AND YOU HAVE LOST YOUR MIND!!!
When they write you back and tell you that the people they keep on their friends list is their own business…FACE BOOK IS TOO MUCH AND YOU HAVE LOST YOUR MIND!!!
Sweet Jesus, Matthews.
Before Facebook, I could have met this person and lived in a euphoria and joy of just having met them…with the ole Facebook…we take that euphoria one step farther.
Who knows why they defriended me…and really, Sharron, who effing cares.
Continue on social media soldier.
Put a band aid on your internet boo boo and move the fuck on.
Did you hear that I am doing a show? Scroll down to see…
I would like to thank all the people who have posted our show poster, in response to this blog…what a nice thing.
Post Post Script:
Since this has been posted I have also:
Gained 10 new friends on Face Book.
Cleared up a past friendship.
Reconnected with a couple people I have not talked to in a while.
Helped a few others not feel shitty about being defriended.
Found myself surrounded by love.
That is NOT crappy.
Thanks to all!