Holy poop, I am in Africa.
South Africa, to be exact…Cape Town to be even more specific.
It has occured to me that it is the first time that anyone from my family has been this far south of the equator…again, holy poop.
It took about 30 hours to get here…the crowning glories of that was the Ativan and the family that didn’t show up to sit in the 3 seats beside me, therefore freeing up a space of 4 seats between me and Georgie on a 14 hour flight. Score.
(FYI: Cooch fell asleep in the TO airport and was never truly awake again. Little lamb)
I watched two episodes of America’s Next Top Model (suck it, judgers) the movie Brave…another movie that was so awesome I promptly have forgotten what it was (it could have been the Ativan) and 7 episodes of the Season 1 of “The Good Wife” (HOW have I not watched this till now…I loves.)
Then I arrived in Johannesburg and was met by fabulous people and a “Mean Girls” convention…and not in the good way…like…it wasn’t people who loved the movie and recognized me…that is never shitty…let us be honest…BUT a bunch of pretty girls (LIKE 30 of them) who, when I asked them a question about what rows the plane was boarding promptly looked at me like I had said, “I just dipped myself in poo, wanna sniff?”…and they said that they could not help me.
Which is amazing because it seems all anyone wants to do in South Africa is help you out. It is really a wonder. The best service, the kindest people…and some of the lovliest views I have ever seen…and I have not left my hotel very much yet…so that is saying something.
Today, I am planning my sightseeing and writing this blog before I do so many things that I can’t remember an effing thing.
I got here and THE NEXT DAY got into my venue, did a sound check and then did a show!! WHAT THE WHAT!?!?
It is a spectacular venue…wait…here it is…
|Taj Hotel Lobby, South Africa|
Can you take how fancy it is?
And Cooch has a grand piano…and the audience was just lovely…I am back in a cabaret style space…and I forgot how much I love it…fancy couches…wing back chairs…so many amazing things…a dude gave me a cup of tea that came with a sand timer…to show me when it had steeped…it is the simple joys, really.
The next day we all were off…and we went to the Greenmarket to see what the flea market had to offer…there is a hard sell going on people…and this Canadian gal can hardly walk away…these vendors bring their entire shop, including the booth with all the tables…with them every day…it is astounding, really.
|We love the instagram and Cooch is especially good at it.|
That night we (George, Cooch and myself) went with our new friend and fellow cabaret artist from London, Chris Green, to a place recommended to us by a pal…it is called Marco’s and it offers authentic SA cuisine…and a floor show.
When we came in there was a band on marimbas and drums and they were singing, playing and dancing…and it kept on…
While they performed we ordered our dinner (Of things such as springbok, ostrich and kudu) and watched a koo koo night unfold.
There were many characters…a surly waitress, a sinister (Chris Green’s words) boobie lady, a high heeled traveller…so many…but before I go any farther…I want to tell you the food was grand and the restaurant was awesome…there was just a koo-koo-ness about it all, people.
The band was so hard working and there were three women who fronted it and, as I said earlier, they danced, sang and played the instuments…and then this woman insterted herself…she had on a tightwasted trench coat that seemed to be a part of her emsemble…she wore it over a blouse of some sort…but she had it undone to just above her belly button…and she was jumping and dancing…and she had some of the biggest boobs I have ever seen. I could not t
ell if the band knew her or was just tolerating her OR was simply happy to let her do some of the work for them. This woman was stalking the club like a cheetah…and she was bringing men and women up to the stage…and one woman she brought up had a 6 inch heel on…and this high heeled traveller had had a few…I thought she was gonna go over like the Titanic. She started to come towards our table and Chris Green said he would pretend to be overwrought (which he did) and I would console him (which I tried to do)…Sinister Boobie Lady looked at me and told me she “Wanted ME” and I told her I was sick…and vaguely pointed towards my middle section (Universe forgive me) and then I pointed at Cooch…she took him…sorry, Cooch. And then she came back and I had turned my head from Chris Green for one second and then she had him too… (FYI: George told her he had a heart condition….Universe forgive him, too)
WELL, the dancing that happened with Chris and Cooch was epic and these two pictures don’t do them justice…the blur is because they were moving so effing fast…I laughed so hard I coughed up a lung.
When they came back to the table the three ladies began to sing…so beautifully…in another language…and I could recognize the tune but not place it…and then slowly they slipped into english… “Never mind I’ll find someone like you…”…fucking Adele…lord, is there a place on this earth that woman has NOT invaded.
The food came…it was awesome…we laughed and ate…and a wonderful night was had by all!!
Yesterday, we went to Victoria Wharf, which has a gorgeous mall and the best view of Robben Island that I have seen yet (please, keep in mind we have many more places to go!). Robben Island was where Nelson Mandela was held for 27 years…also a leper colony…among other things…and I cannot wait to visit.
I just stopped writing to look out my window to see a whale splashing around in the harbour…lord…it was singing Adele, too. (Wouldn’t that be hysterical?)
There are so many places I want to see.
I am so honoured that I was asked to come here.
My second show was another excellent experience. I love my room. My soundman. The grand piano…being in a dressing room with all these amazing international performers…we are talking Brel, Brecht and Britney. It is a mash up, people.
I have 12 more days here, 9 shows and one big gala night.
This gig is really a dream come true.
Here are some of my shots, so far…plus a lovely review I just got for my NEW YORK CITY run of #GOLD!
|Cooch sleeping began….|
|View out of my hotel window|
|Plaque just outside my performance space.|
|Night window view.|
|There is a big mountain at the top of that street that the sun is blocking…but I like the pic of me and G.|
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And, thanks to Andrew Martin of NiteLifeExchange for this lovely review of my shows in NEW YORK CITY!!!
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