So many things to learn on the stationary bike…and I want you all to know…that though I love how I feel after exercising…I effing hate the crap out of it…and I put it off…why…oh why…fucking gym.
Now, I sit…on the couch…on a Friday night…I could not have gotten into my pajamas earlier today…while George is at the fancy Koerner Hall…AND I am watching Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids…and I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER!!! (Let it be said here…that I do miss George.)
So, here are so things I learned at the gym and on the stationary bike today…WAIT! MY BIG FAT AMERICAN GYPSY WEDDING!!! I CANNOT wait.
Suck it, judgers.
Here, again, are the things….
1. You know you are at the gym when you see not one, not two but THREE Hummers in the parking lot.
2. Apparently, there are two young British children named Sophie Grace and Rosie who have the career I have always wanted. Little effers.
3. I will watch an episode of Will and Grace in any situation. Even if there is a high pitched tone screaming in my headphones ONLY on this channel…as well as the dialogue…for 30 minutes. WORTH IT!
“I think the pills I’m taking are shrinking my balls.” – Karen Walker
4. WHY DID YOU GET ON THE BIKE BESIDE WHEN YOU ARE YOU WEARING AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF JEAN NATE?!?! WHO DOES THIS!?!? (Are you a stripper?)
5. I will dedicate about 10 minutes to humming, hawing and covering my face with my towel to let Jean Nate know that her smell is driving me up the wall…
6. Some people will let ‘experts’ fuck up their houses…badly.
7. Anderson Cooper’s show is stinky.
I LOVE SAY YES TO THE DRESS!!!
Happy Weekend, Bitches!!