Bullying and the Bad Behavior of Grown Ass People.
I always thought when I grew up it would go away.
That grown ups were better behaved, smarter and kinder.
Like my favourite friend’s (who was actually quite shitty to me) parents.
Who I thought were so awesome…they wore Moo Moos and went to Egypt. They were so cool.
I don’t know what that has to do with anything…but it bears mentioning.
Now that I think about it, they probably had key parties.
How fucking sad was I when I discovered it is actually worse when you get older…and more insidious.
Bullying does happen when you are an adult…BUT there is no parental intervention and/or school principal intervention.
You are kinda on your own.
Like really on your own sometimes.
Because you can’t really ask for help…people fear that it may make them seem weak.
I have even tried to talk someone I love out of standing up to a bully…because it just seemed easier at the time.
Shame on me.
And no one really talks about it.
And people suffer in silence.
I look at Rob Ford and his ways of pushing people around…some that have been caught on video, all of which are in the media…and I thought, “If this happened in high school or university he would have been expelled.”
What happens when you do it as an adult?
You get elected Mayor of Toronto.
And the bad behavior of grown ass people.
There is a strange generational thing happening that gives me great pause.
This “entitled”, “don’t fuck with me, I’m awesome”, “I can get anything even if I don’t work hard”, “I deserve the stars even though I have not earned them”, “I don’t care what bridges I burn all I care about is who can get me jobs” attitude that stops people from really examining their actions, or thinking before they speak or looking inside themselves. They are entitled to greatness, jobs, money…you name it…simply by being born.
Fuck everyone else.
Now, don’t get me wrong.
The message in all of my work…I love it when I call it my work…it sounds so fancy…but it is my work all the same…my life’s work…the message has been “You can do it”, “You are awesome the way you are”, “Keep digging and climbing people…because there is gold at the bottom of that effing big hole and that fucking high mountain.”
That is my message because that is what I have always needed to hear myself…that success is the hopeful end of all my journeys. Affirmations are everything. I tell myself these things every day. Some people think they are stupid…but many an affirmation has gotten me through a tough day.
BUT I do not think success should come at the expense of another’s happiness and/or well being.
I do not think it will come without hard work.
And I certainly don’t feel like I am entitled to a career.
There are too many people working like fucking dogs for their future for me to think that I can just pop in and say, “Here I am, bitches…where is my glory? Huh?”.
And, may I say here…before you think I am ageist…there are many, many young and younger people who work their asses off for their chosen career and/or passion. (Don’t you love it when the girls on America’s Next Top Model talk about it being their passion…it is one of my favourite things)
But in that same generation exist the Entitled Many, and maybe I am wrong and it not just a generation…because I have seen the same behavior in people who are older…it just seems to be more prevalent now.
Am I wrong?
Is it just me seeing this?
I also believe, and have witnessed, that when you combine the bad behavior, sometimes mix in a lack of experience and add some hubris…a whole new bully is born.
A bully who believes they are not a bully….that they are simply ‘right’.
Who is entitled to the world.
A bully who lives a life at the expense of others…because they are number one…and anyone who questions that fact is trying to “Bring Them Down!”.
(Rob Ford vs. Toronto Star)
Can you picture this person as anyone in your life?
And it is easier to placate people like this…because going up against them is just gonna make everyone’s life a living hell.
They will not back down, they will convince themselves that anything they do or believe is the right thing.
And they, usually, have the loudest voice.
So, what do we do?…grin an bear it.
We sometimes watch these people be bullies to others and we are just so fucking happy it isn’t us that we hug them, we laugh with them and then we say, “Fucking whew.” when the day is over.
I have done it…I have closed the door at the end of a long day and thought, “Thank god that wasn’t me.”
I will try not to do it again.
Because I can see what it does to people, it can be quite horrible and can undermine an entire work place…and if we don’t do anything…it leads Hubra-Bully (yup, I said it) to get worse, to feel like they are right…to believe their behavior is justified..and then it leads to something worse for the next person who is unlucky enough to get caught up with them.
We wait for someone else to take care of it.
Now, I am not saying that we should hurt this person…I just believe that they need to be called on their behavior…and…if we are all lucky…maybe they can see the error of their ways…maybe they can help themselves…who fucking knows, right?
Wouldn’t that be amazing?
I just think…if I can’t stand bullying against children…why do I tolerate it in adults?