I try not to watch The View anymore…“Why, Sharron, WHY!?” you may ask.

Other than that fucking Elizabeth Hasselbeck…back…beck…whatEVER!!! She just crawls up my skirt the wrong way…ya know?

Oh, and other than Sherry Sheppard…she is just not a rocket scientist…or even a rocket eater ( ya know the ones you get for Halloween….I feel that I may have just jumped the blog shark…I continue…).

The combination of Sheppard and Hasselbeck just makes me wanna go out and purchase an anti- anxiety program…they just…who…when…breathe, Sharron.

And Barbra Walters? Jesus wept…and poor Whoopi looking on in disbelief waiting to cash her paycheck…and the other one…

But sometimes…on a snowy winter day…when I am tired…and procrastinating putting the boxes away…I pull up the couch and watch these chicks go at it whilst (yes, I said it) I eat my eggamuffin.

Today…Donald Trump was on. That bronzer wearing redneck motherf*#er…he really is a red neck…classless with money…a lethal combo.

So fancy….

He began to talk about…how he was going to run for President…of the United States…not of the Hairclub for Men.

I gave myself a shake…and wondered if I was still asleep…and then I freaked out.

I began to feel like I did when I saw my first episode of American Gladiator…like the Apocalypse was imminent.

Donald Trump talking about how the U.S. should charge other countries when they go to war to “help them out”…I could not believe it…I just fucking…I didn’t know….breathe, Sharron.

CHARGE FOR WAR!!! Like it is a business….I mean, I know it has been big business for years…but how gross to hear it put in those terms.

And he talked about for his running mate…oh my god…are you ready…Sarah fucking Palin….JESUS WEPT AGAIN!

I didn’t know what to do…I didn’t know who to call…I just thought I was having a stroke or something.

Can this really happen…could this happen?

And then he said that he wanted to see Obama’s birth certificate…he and the fucking Hasselbeck insinuated that Obama wasn’t an American citizen…that he was trying to put one over on the American people…really?? REALLY!?!?!?!?

Oh my dear sweet lord…I am looking for the 4 horsemen…or is it seven…I DON’T KNOW!!!

I AM FREAKING OUT!

And then Elizabeth Taylor died…and Margaret Cho called her (with love, I am sure) the Queen of the Fag Hags…

UM…I know what she means…but…um…too soon.

And then after a bunch of snow fell…what the eff…APOCALYPSE!!!!

And then, on Twitter, Rick Mercer made fun of how Toronto freaks out when it snows…which is just the newest joke…WAIT!…NO IT ISN’T!!! And I love RICK MERCER…and he made a crappy, antiquated joke!!! IT IS THE END PEOPLE…it is gonna rain frogs and unicorns….and maybe poo.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?!?

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  1. There must have been one good thing. Wasn’t Clinton Kelly also on The View? Clinton is just made of goodness.

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