As the end of the year quickly approaches…holy shit…it really doth approach (look Grampa -Steve Ross – I got all Shakespearean)…the end of the year always gets me to thinking…
I know you all might be sick of hearing me be thankful for all of the support that I received for, and during, my year of World Domination…that started the afternoon of January 1st…the day I sat in front of my computer in my pajama pants, a tshirt that I got in a swag bag that says “fabulous” across the bosom, my green hoodie with a bleach spot on the left arm, my fave socks…the socks that I have worn so much the heal is gone on one of them…and a scrunchie…suck it…so what…I have on scrunchie left over from the 90’s…was it the 90’s?…what the eff was I saying….oh ya…the day I sat in front of the computer and said to myself and George…and Tyson and Cassie… “How the fuck will I do this???”
I never dreamed that so many people would be so very supportive, positive, excited, helpful, kind and generous to me and my family…and my project. There were so many people and so many things that they did to help….here are a few that spring into my mind….
The anonymous person who donated $500.00 after they came to see “Love, Loss and What I Wore”….I had a number of anonymous donors…intriguing.
The ladies…Trixie, Roxie, Vixen….Julia…I don’t know Julia’s special name…who, when I told them I was trying to brainstorm ways to raise the cash, they called me on a conference call ( I have never been on a conference call) and helped me figure out the fund raiser with silent auction…and then brought one million people who bid on all the merchandise…and drank…how they drank.
Michael Hughes…who, among other things, just drove around in the car with me one day so I could run one thousand errands and not have to park the car…he also minded the dogs who were in the back seat.
Donald Schafer…my PR guy in New York…who ferried me around for a whole week and probably spent twice as much money on me ( drinks, cabs…you name it) as I paid him to promote me….just because he said he believed in me…I had never met him before I went down to do Joe’s Pub.
Michael Rubinoff….who after we opened “Love, Loss and What I Wore”, expressed how much he wanted George to see me in the show (George was in New Brunswick)…and sent George and email asking if he could fly him back to Toronto to see the show…and pay the costs.
Wayne Gwillim, who did both trips with me…and did if for next to nothing…and busked with me on the streets of Edinburgh…who stayed up till 3:00am so he could play “Bohemian Rhapsody” for me on a tricked out piano… we were on right after a dude did naked magic…he was an amazing companion on this journey.
Derrick Chua who, among other things…many other things…such as co-producing the tour….made sure that I ate, drank and was fueled up to go in Scotland…he cooked dinner almost every night…and if he was out he would leave something for Wayne and I on the stove. Who ran up to me, the same night of the naked magic dude, waving the weekly revue sheet ‘Broadway Baby’ with my picture and 5 Star revue on the front with GLEE in his eyes.
The people at the Half Price Hut in Scotland who would wave to me in the crowd…I was in among hundreds of people…to let me know that I had sold my quota of tickets.
Rob Harris from England, who I met in Scotland, who I would stand with in the line ups and we would hand out our fliers…who took a handful from of mine from me…and when people didn’t want to see his show…would tell them about mine…he came to my show 5 times.
The woman who came to both my shows in New York…who I had never met.
The teenagers…and the 50 somethings…who came to my show numerous times in Scotland…and brought new people with them every time.
Brian Goldenberg, who on the last day of fund raising…the day I raised $5000.00, called me at the end and asked how much money I still needed to reach my goal…and then gave it to me.
Joan Mathers…she knows why.
My lawyer, Mark Davis, who helped me….oh, how he helped me…who, when he first met me…said, “I watched your videos…your show is a bit…racuous.” He was one of my knights in shining armor.
There is so much…so many things and so many people to be thankful for.
I didn’t know how to do it…and again, as I sat in the audience of Alan Cumming’s show the first night in Scotland and cried….I couldn’t believe I did it.
Or as I stood under the lights at Joe’s Pub that first night…the night I could do NOTHING wrong…it was so very magical and one of the best of my life…I just was in the moment…I felt so very grateful that night.
Lastly, I would like to thank my dearest love George, who gave me one million pep talks, ideas, kleenex, hugs, kisses, stern talking to’s…who stood out in the Scottish winds for HOURS handing out my flyers and talking about me…who never doubted that I could do it…and when I told him I didn’t think I could, told me that it was too late to turn back…and that it was unfair to him and everyone, who had already invested so much in me. He is my partner…my team mate…my greatest champion and my absolute best friend…and never thinks my ideas are cockamamie… ( I am sure I spelled that wrong) and always thinks it is best to follow one’s dreams…damn the cost.
Yup, damn the cost.
This started out as what I thought was gonna be an amusing tale of some sort….huh….I guess it is kinda like my year really, and a recipe for most of the things I do…I usually start something knowing what I want it to be…then it turns into something totally different…and I do my very best to stay open…
I thought I knew what this year was going to be…but it was harder…a great deal harder than I expected…I thought it would be rewarding…it surely was, and most of the rewards are beyond words and some were totally opposite of what I hoped…it was larger….it was smaller….it was thrilling…it was painful…it was an eye opener…it hurt my feelings…it built my confidence…it was fucked up….it was perfect….just perfect.
I will end this tale of thanks by telling you a little story about my last show of the year…it happened last night.
I was backstage with John Hughes, who played my show in Oakville last night….he is just about the best dude and player…no one knows Bway like him… and the tech guy, Andrew, came into the dressing room holding an orchid…I never get flowers out of town…I was touched and excited…who the eff were they from?
When I opened the card I saw they were from my dear friend…who I haven’t seen in years…Gloria.
When I was in “Beauty and the Beast” in 1997 I was going through a hard time and sometimes it was more than I could bear. Gloria was my dresser. She would see me begin to become incredibly upset and she would do everything in her power to help me through and would help me make sure that no one ever saw that I was having a hard time.
She would talk me down.
She would hug me while I cried.
She would just sit with me…
Then there was one day when she brought me a journal…she said that I always seemed to feel better when I wrote…and I began to write…really write…and it was my oar…you know?… The oar for my fucking floundering boat…
Last night, I talked about her in my show and asked her to stand.
After the show she came to me…she is so tiny I could fit her in my pocket…and she said that she thought I looked so great…and that she knew that I was doing what I was supposed to be doing.
I don’t think I would have done nearly as well in that show if she hadn’t been there…and I think she was one of the universe’s instrument
s that helped me start to write in earnest…she is an angel.
And she was there to witness that I had made it through.
And I wasn’t nervous for one blessed second last night.
Thank you all.
Thank you Gloria.
Thank you….and Merry Christmas….lordy as I am.
God I looked hot in that fucking outfit….