Title of August 18th Blog.

Holy effing bums in seats.

Subtitle of August 18th Blog.

Who the eff do you have to fuck in this town to get a reviewer to your show?

Alternative Subtitle of the August 18th Blog

I do two interviews and a showcase and try not to get the cholera.

So, a three fold blog, really.

Yesterday, Wayne and I rubbed our eyes bright and early after our fabu, yet, not reviewed (sadly) opening the night before.

I strapped on my converse sneakers and Wayne, his shirt from Oxfam (my environmentally movtivated friend Wayne has died and gone to heaven here with the great number of second hand stores that are moments from our flat!) and we went in search of Leith FM.

A tiny, well-appointed volunteer run radio station…they couldn’t have been sweeter…Grahame the host, just fabulous. There was a lady there who interupted a “jam”, as they say, to tell me that the song I was rehearsing with Wayne reminded her of someone she wasn’t speaking to.

Well, that is alright then.

Here is a photo of Wayne “jamming”

After the interview Wayne put his melodica in a bag I put my sunglasses on and we walk 40 beautiful minutes uphill….getting back to the gym will be an effing godsend…and went to the Pleasance Courtyard to Fresh Air Radio…a student run station with a girl who had been left alone to DJ and had to have the two comedians who she was interviewing open the door to let us in.

LOVES IT!

We sang our stuff and did our thing and tried not to hug Shana, the DJ, who said she had the flu.

I effing hope she didn’t give it to me…oh for fuck sakes…DON’T GIVE ME THE CHOLERA!!!

Then we went home where I thought deep thoughts and got ready for a showcase at the Zoo Roxy.There was a great show there but I am ‘Sophie’s Choicing’ whether to mention the name or not…it is hard…I just …it is just…I want you all to come to my show…I will have to search my heart and think about what I have done.

Isn’t that just horrible?

Am I gonna go to hell??

I don’t know whether to tell you about the other show….or keep your effing bums focused on finding their ways to my show and very comfortable (that is questionable) seats at the Surgeon’s Hall tonight at 9:05pm….I am taking MY bum and the rest of me to the Half Price Hut in a few….gonna shower and see a cabaret and then off I go!!!

Oh for fucksakes…it is called ‘West End Glee Club’ and it is awesome….THERE!!!

BUT SO AM I!

COME SEE MY EFFING SHOW!!!

I am in bed and have been while working for the last two hours….

That is pretty much my speed this morn….but a gal has gotta go and DO!!!

SELL!! SELL!!!

I am surprised to find that one of my most challenging things here is to get a freaking reviewer to come to the show…Usually, as fancy and self involved artists, we try not to think about reviewers…we are all fucking fragile and don’t want to know when they are coming… “Oh, don’t tell me, I don’t wanna know”

But here you are BEGGING!!!

And I mean literally BEGGING reviewers to come… “Please come…I will give you whatever you want! How can I get you to come? What kind of bizarre thing can I offer that will make you come” (Please don’t read that as a horrible sexual overture…unless it might help)….it is such a shocking about face that it ALMOST makes me pass out.

And then there is that moment that I push away constantly where I think “What the fuck if they hate my show?” Push it away…push it away, Sharron…focus on other things…like the half price hut….yeah, focus on the half price hut.

The show had a respectable audience last night but I constantly focus on what I can do to get more bums in the seats…it is a fucking obsession….

But I did get my first review…from a lovely girl named Stephanie Walls who was in the front row the first night…it is on a site called www.publicreviews.com… I love it…it is from the people…LOVE IT!!!

Here it is….OH and before you read….she gave me 5 stars!!!

WOO FUCKING WOO!!!

‘Hi! Are you here to see my show?’ I look up and a very smiley lady in a huge flowery dress is offering to shake my hand. I say yes I am and she asks me my name, introduces herself as Sharron Matthews and thanks me for coming. She proceeds to greet a few more people in the foyer as we wait patiently with her for the over-running previous show to get out of the space. She apologises that we all have to be so quiet (the poor girl behind the box office desk has to shush the audience every 20 seconds as not to disturb the other shows in progress) and tells us we’ll get in as soon as possible.I settle myself on the front row and within moments Matthews has handed me a couple of bundled up t-shirts and asked me to look after them for her. Matthews comes across as an instantly likeable, genuine person and when she starts her first medley of songs we soon find out she has an amazing voice to match. Intertwined with her wonderfully sung numbers are various stories and asides about her own experiences ranging from growing up as an awkward teenager in Toronto to putting together her own stool in her over crowded one bedroom Edinburgh apartment. We are absorbed completely in her tales and at times genuinely moved by some of the more personal anecdotes. We are laughing throughout and each song is cleverly arranged and beautifully performed.Sharron Matthews truly is a superstar and a performer as personable and instantly likeable is something rare both at The Fringe and beyond. She continued to be lovely and cut her own show short as to not disrupt the next show (despite the fact the show before her was to blame!) – She quickly tied up the loose ends and I am pleased to report I am now the proud owner of one of the ‘Sharron’s Army’ t-shirts I was babysitting. I shall wear it proudly and I wish this lady every success in Edinburgh!

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