I am in bed.
Yes, I am still in bed.
I am gonna share a truth with you.
If I invite my two monster dogs up on the bed….I can get two more hours sleep outta them.
Does that make me a bad person?
Anyhow, all is quiet here in the Matthews/Masswohl home though I am working my ass off.
It is my first of two days off from the awesomeness that is “Love Loss And What I Wore”. We opened this week with fabulous reviews (4 out of 4 stars from the Toronto Star). The Sun, The Globe and The Eye all had great things to say about it as well!! It was happiness!
As I was standing in the wardrobe and wig room yesterday drying my hair (Louise and I got caught in the effing effing effing rain) talking to Paula, Wayne and Dawn…while yelling something through the door to Mary and Louise across the hall…it hit me…this is almost a sorority house. Paula and Mary both brought shopping purchases in and we judged them (Now, that looks great on your ass! HOW MUCH?) we make sure each others hair is good before we walk onstage….and when our dear assistant stage manager, AJ, calls “Places, ladies, time to start the show!”…this is what happens….“I gotta pee, I gotta eat this piece of chocolate, I gotta finish my sentence, What did you say?, I haven’t got my shoes on, Who do you know who is coming? …” In other words AJ has a big challenge getting us out of that dressing room.
The shows were great yesterday. I had a couple highschool friends at the matinee. One in the front row…but she was a great audience member so no hard feelings!
Before the night show there was a moment in the dressing room where Andrea was telling us about a beaver in her front yard…yes, you read right…and she began to imitate the beaver with 10 curlers in her hair…I peed a bit…I think she is gonna work the bit into her Huntsville show in August! Do you know Andrea Martin is doing her one woman show in Huntsville in AUGUST!?!?! Run don’t walk.
I am also going to get her on Facebook and Twitter tomorrow….yup…it is a mission.
So, I am working on all of the last minute details for Edinburgh which is 16 days…holy freaking effing crap….away!
There are so many things to do….and I still need about $4900.00…I am still looking for an angel…I believe, people I do…that there is one out there!!!
I am putting the donor info up again!!!
Just in case you missed it…. ;-)…there is a crazy emoticon.

Here is donor info, just in case you feel moved to join the ‘Sharron Matthews Superstar: World Domination Tour 2010 ARMY!!!’

To donate you can either call Buddies in Bad Times Theatre ( my charitable trustee) at #416 975 8555 during box office hours (noon to 5:00pm, Tuesday to Saturday) and donate by Credit Card ( Telling the person you speak to that it is for Sharron Matthews Superstar) OR you can go there (address below) during box office hours and donate by cash, debit or credit in person (again, Telling the person you speak to that it is for Sharron Matthews Superstar) OR you can mail a cheque to
Buddies in Bad Times Theatre
12 ALEXANDER ST
Toronto, Ontario M4Y 1B4
*Please make the cheque out to Buddies in Bad Times with Sharron Matthew Superstar in the memo line, and we will promptly send a tax receipt.*

So, I am presently applying to places that have open mikes and showcase opportunities at the Edinburgh Fringe…because I will do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to sell my show…I mean it people.
But the challenge is, of course, vetting ( I love that word, it is fancy) all the opportunites so I don’t end up in a cow field singing a Britney Spears tune.
Though that might be interesting and a photo opportunity….if I sang to cows…wait a minute, I have to call my publicist.
I am back.
Okay!
So I have sent a number of emails…and sometimes…because I am tired…I am not really reading them too closely.
But my co producer has sent me this list so I TRUST HIM.
I woke up to an email in my inbox first thing… “Dear Sharron, We would love to have you be a part of our showcase! Due to the nature of the show we would like to make sure to make sure you read the description thouroughly.”
And here is the description….

“ A celebration of collaboration, the human form and artists brave and bold. Looking for a diverse range of talent -musicians,poets,comedians,circus + visual and installation artists. Please do not hesitate to contact us. Open to all ideas. Must be willing to perform naked to a naked audience.”

Huh.
Yes, I thought about it…I did…I really did.
And then I thought….NO EFFING WAY IN HELL!!!
I am going to meet with my co producer Derrick this aft…on the upside…I guess he will also do almost ANYTHING to sell tickets…I bet my pianist Wayne would have loved doing it.

And lastly, wow….I am long winded today…I got shit to do, man….but I want to tell you this!
In my last blog I criticized the acting on a Reality show called “DC Cupcakes” I received a message from a long ago aquaintance (FACEBOOK is weird that way) who was a bit irrate that I had maligned the ladies who are on the show by calling them bad actresses. (Which they are…they really are…don’t take my word for it…watch the freaking show just once) But they are bakers who have got an effing TV show so I am sure they do not give a doodle what I think…but I digress. The message was very terse and inferred ( I am guessing here as it is hard to tell intent on the interweb) that as an “real actress” ( I actually thank the person for calling me that because I constantly think I am faking it) I didn’t have a right to call a baker a bad actress…or that it was in poor taste. (bakers, poor taste….ug….I slay me).
I tried to make light of the comment and give the person the benefit of the doubt that they might be joking.
It soon became clear that they were not…after a number of back and forths…each one from them terser ( is that a word) a little more highhanded than the one before. Comparisons were made to Cake Boss and other reality TV …it all struck me as quite strange and not a bit surreal.
I felt the need to keep responding though…even though I had to break from whatever work I was doing…I kept asking myself.. “Is this worth it?” and I kept answering “Apparently, yes.”
In each of my responses I tried to be a bit funny to take the edge off but I still stuck to my guns (this person and I had not had a bad relationship, s
o I was a bit confused) but they wrote in the end that…and I paraphrase….for reasons I will share in a moment…

“I would be shocked if, as bakers, they were good at delivering dialogue. (Cake Boss). Sure the scripted parts are obvious but nobody watches reality TV because the acting is brilliant. I am just always surprised when real actors criticize non-actors for being bad actors.

I then realized that while I might be giving this person the benefit of the doubt they didn’t seem to be giving me one at all.
I also thought about how it hurts when people critize me and all…but then I remembered that IT IS A SHOW ABOUT CUPCAKES and these ladies probably do not care what the eff I think!!
Let it be said here that my friend Hubert wrote me and told me that he has travelled to DC JUST to get some of their cupcakes…okay…he was there already to visit friends…but he says that they are very good.

Now, here was my final response….

“Wow, this started out as a lighthearted rant on my blog. But, I have found, a gal cannot blog and expect people to not react or comment. People like to send me their opinions and I try to respond the best way I can. It feels strange… and quite surreal to assert my view over this subject, such as it is. But, here I go. I actually think they are great on Cake Boss…I think they get a real slice of life on the show which is why people watch reality TV, I think. I think that the situations they set up are very funny and they people on the show are great and endearing . That is why the DC show seems so contrived in comparison….but it ain’t art…and I don’t think that anyone would say it is. Sadly, happily or otherwise, when one is given dialogue to say and they are in front of a camera in a situation that is staged…I think that they are an actor of some sort. But that is me.
I also think it is pretty funny that this rebuttal is all about shows called Cake Boss and DC Cupcakes…on TLC!
I think many would agree that the show contains “not the best acting”…if they were a real actor or otherwise.
But, again, this is my opinion.
LET US ALL WATCH ‘SAY YES TO THE DRESS’!!!”

Then, in moments, all but one of their comments disappeared….I decided to delete them all…and then after a moment ( I am trying to destress and get the bullshit out of my life) I then defriended this person.
I have no idea why the terseness….I had always enjoyed this person.
But….
UG!
LIFE IS TOO SHORT!!!
IT IS A SHOW ABOUT CUPCAKES!!!!

AND JUST to make you smile after all that kerfuffle….her is one of my supporter s and friends…IAN EPSTEIN!!!
I can’t figure out how to make it straight on but you get the picture…THE PICTURE!!!
OH FOR GOD SAKES, Sharron…. I SLAY ME!!!

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