……………………………………………….So, my friend Trish and I are standing at the Tim Horton’s sandwich making station…it always takes them forever to put together a turkey club…their service is only second to the FABULOUS service you always get at Canadian Tire. (Everyone who works there seems like there wish they were a bit dead.) Trish and I are dishing and there is a middle aged dude who seems amused by our conversation and looking for an opening to be a part of it. I do NOT encourage it. Trish and ! get to the part of the conversation that is focused on my late night viewing of the VH1 special DIVAS….you know…Divas started years ago with awesome chicks like Cher, Mariah, Christina, Celine…and now it has been going on for so long that the only ladies who they can come up with are Miley Cyrus… WHAT!!!?!?!? And Jordan Sparks…WHO!?!?!? I recalled her name but still had to google her…she is most remembered for the inane comeback on the MTV awards to Russell Brand’s hilarious joke about the Jonas Brothers’ purity rings….Ms. Sparks said something super smart like…”Some people aren’t sluts!” WTG.
Anyhow. The part of the show that we was talking about was the AMAZING opening number …not so much. I was pontificating how Paula showed up in a Liza Minelli wig and lipsynched…sanked…whatever…to a medley of her biggest hits….like that gem “Cold Hearted Snake”…and that hot tune “Opposites Attract”…I mean really… and this middle aged dude…remember him? Says “Well, it is too bad you aren’t cattie” to which I turned…giving him my full height and saying ” It isn’t cattie if it’s the truth” and then just stared at him.
What the eff?
Was I talking to you?
If my voice is pitched a bit louder than other people does that give you a right to involve yourself in my chat about VH1’s Divas???
Do we look like we want to talk to a middle aged dude who seems to be habouring an opinion on VH1 Divas?
Do you have personal relationship with Ms. Abdul?
Hey old dude… eff off!
AND THAT IS MY TURKEY CLUB!
Okay…no it isn’t …but wouldn’t that have been awesome?

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