Now…I read a book a couple years ago….cannot remember it’s title…..actually it was a paperback of some kind that was….. fine….probably all crime and punishment…..but it went in depth about the National Portrait Gallery in Edinburgh…..when my mother-in-law mentioned it when we got here I got all excited and fussed up….we got everyone in a cab….5 of us including Deborah ….. our gracious hostess…..and went….
OH!!!!
First we went to see the Royal Yacht Britannia…it is moored in Edinburgh…kinda attached to a mall really….but I think….”The Queen is all posh!!! I wanna see where that chick lived!”….I say things like ‘posh’ and ‘rubbish’ now….just like Madonna…
OH!!!!
Now …SIDEBAR!!!
I have decided to put three Scottish phrases into my daily vernacular …..
#1. Wee…..they all say it….they all love it!!! Why not me!!!
#2. EMMM….that is what they say here instead of um.
#3. Daft…… LOVE IT!!! So much classier….that stupid or retarded!
Now…where the eff…..oh ya…
THE BRITANNIA!!!
So, we got Ma into a wheelchair and took her around…now, here are a few words about the yacht…
First…..why so plain…I swear to god there was a chair that I had in my backyard growing up that was on the Lido deck…..
Second….The Queen and Prince Phillip have the tiniest single beds I have EVER seen!
You’re the QUEEN!!!
Give Sleep Country a call!!
Third….The honeymoon suite bed was small and all I could think of was Charles taking Diana’s virginity and scarring her for life!!!
So, that being said…..still pretty cool…oh to be so rich!!
So, after that we get into another cab and go to the Portrait Gallery.
Loved it!!
We couldn’t take pics inside of the portraits but you could take pics of the friezes that were in the rotunda ….that was two big words at once!!!…..and they were lovely…the one at the top…..this one….


Look at the Scottish dudes!!!
Then the family went back to Bonnyrigg and George and I stayed in town because I wanted to go on a……
GHOST WALK…..
wooooooo…..
I picked the ‘City of the Dead’ tour….it was the only one that got access to the Greyfriars Churchyard at night!
Why would we do this on purpose, you ask?
I like a little scare!
And since it was so good George and I fortified ourselves with whiskey…to keep warm and all!
We were the oldest people on the tour by, like, 15 years.
All backpackers…..the guide started off chatting about torture….that is when my tummy started to go all iffy….
Torture is a gross business.
Then the 10 of us marched into the graveyard…..why would ANYONE
go into a a graveyard at night?
As we marched around I was looking for an actor who would scare the shit outta us.
When we got into the Masoleum …..yes…we went into a fricken masoleum…and they separated all of the men and women…so I ended up holding the hand of a girl from Wales named Roslyn….I was a bit scared shitless.
Then an actor jumped out and I screamed like a girl!
Oh wait.
I am a girl.
SOO!
The next day George and I rented a car with a couple destinations in mind.
I have a list left of all the places I wanted to visit……and we had one day…..and then we were to go to the home of our dear friend Tober.
So, ( play crazy banjo music here!) we rented a car.
We drove to Stirling.
And in two hours we….
Went to Bannockburn to see the field and the Robert the Bruce Statue!!!


Stirling Castle.



And then George and I climbed a big fricken hill!!
Straight up!!!
To see the William Wallace Monument!!!
Really George wanted to see the sword and I just want to see….
everything……


See that part to the right….the round part….circular staircase….
ALL THE WAY UP!!!!
We go to the second floor, see the sword…
And get the eff out!!

Oh…..so tired!!!
We did so much more….
But Graham Norton is on BBC 1….and I am afraid he is gonna say something dirty!!!
What will Auntie Pat say?



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