Oh sigh…..vacationing is hard you guys….
I am so tired from my one week long beach retreat I need…. another vacation.
I didn’t have the internet for a week…. except for my blackberry … and yesterday I was in the sun, on my beach chair for hours and got a bit of a burn….hmmmm…. it is a challenge to relax.
Alright… enough of all that shit… what a great break that was…. my sister rented a cottage for her, my two nieces and I for a week up……over…… down… I don’t know exactly where but it is in Ontario…. in Long Beach… we had a private beach.
!!!!!
We had not had a chance to see it beforehand so I was a bit worried…..
You never know… I always think that it will turn out to be some house from a Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie… ya know….but it was so nice.. so clean… 4 bedrooms and a huge kitchen, and a short walk to the beach….here is the beach…

That was the view from my 20 dollar beach lounger that I got from Can Tire the second day…. lying on the towel put too much sand up my ass.
Oh… it was a dream… the first two days I got up early… because all the rest of my family gets up at like, 6:00am, and then tromps around the house like bigfoot….bigfeet… foot… whatever….so, I thought…I am on vacation… I will also get up early… and then happily… though the forecast was crappy… the sun was out… I will powerwalk on the beach…. with NO SHOES… just like that Matthew Macconeghey…. I know that is not the way you spell his name but you know how I feel about spelling!!!
Anyhow… so I put on my ipod and my ironman watch and off I go!!!
Wow!!!
So, on the second day though my ankle hurts a bit from the no shoes part… how does Matthew do that?… I think that I will try it again!!!
Good for me…. I stepped on a fucking branch and when I lifted up my foot it was stuck… into my foot… I pulled it out and kept walking…. my foot hurt… I walked more… my foot really hurt… so I sit in the sand… and screw my body into a yoga position to stare at my foot….oh fuck… there is still stick in my foot….
So I make my niece get out the tweezers and bleach… you can guess at the rest…
No more powerwalk…but since I was eating chips I needed exercise… oh my lord peeps…. I got up early every morning.. and swam the coastline for 45 minutes… up and down… there was no one in the water but me… it is as glorious as it sounds…a bit cold but who cares!!
The only snag was there were a bunch of Yanks… and I love Yanks… don’t get me wrong…who came down to the beach each morning about the same time to hit golfballs into the lake…I felt this was wrong… they were polluting the lake and making me fear for my life as the balls wizzed by me… so I cussed them out… then I felt like an old lady… that was a weird thing that I felt on this vacation… I saw a bunch of young girls stroll by everyday in their bikinis and felt old…. I never had a bikini bod…it made me a tad sad… that is the moment I always try to remind myself that I am funny… that counts for alot… that is a good trade off…. I get to be funny forever… hopefully …..and they will have a bikini bod for …what… 10 years??….
Ya gotta love what makes me feel better…
Oh and there was a pigeon that stalked me the whole week… he hung around my chair everyday!
Here he is….


Can you see him?
He is right in the middle of the shot…. look closer… ahh … there he is… that little fucker… sorry … I have a potty mouth today, Auntie Pat!!!…
My niece named him Freddie… after my old step dad… he was a bit of a wanker… the step dad…. not the seagull…..but he has passed… away…. a long time ago….. the stepdad…. I don’t know if the seagull bit the big one in the last couple of days……let us not speak ill of the …dead… ug.. this is going down a bad road.
I always think that when someone passes and they are a wanker… we try to pretend they were better people that they were….
What the EFF am I talking about?????
Oh yes….
I loved the beach!
I love my sis!!!
And my nieces!!
Here they are…..



Now, I really am tired!!
But pleased…the week is busy… auditions for film…FINALLY.. and for theatre… no comment…. and the show… YES… THE SHOW!!!
So, here we go folks….
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR MY WEBSHOW….
WELL, SCROLL DOWN AND TRY AGAIN THIS WEEK!!!
I WILL TRY TO DO SOMETHING!!
BYE!

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  1. that is the moment I always try to remind myself that I am funny…

    LOLOL!! my favorite line of the whole blog.

    (I too use that justification)

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