Holy Crap….

So I am trying a new medium all!
I am doing a video blog on Facebook…. I tried to do it here but it takes alot of time…. there I can just hit a button and Bob’s your uncle…. I am on the web…. it can be a bit dangerous…. do you wanna see it?
Just go to Facebook and it is on my profile page under videos….we aren’t friends on Facebook? … no biggie…. just add me as a friend.
Holy poop…. it is like I am selling Facebook… it is pretty awesome!
And for those who do not like Facebook…. here is a little regular blog for you!
George and I are now in a little haunted house in Niagara…. and as I write that I hear a noise in the kitchen…. oh and another…. it makes me tense up a bit…. she likes the back of the house… oh fuck there it is again….. am I gonna make it here?
The house is soooo nice!!!
Just filled with spirits of dead people….
And just because I have no sense whatsoever… I am reading a book by a guy named Joe Hill…. it is a scary book….. I bought it before I knew that there were ghosts here and I will be damned if I will waste 10.99….. plus tax.
So…. I am just jumpy.
On a whole ‘nother note……
It was with a sigh of relief that I got on the bus to come here, I have to tell you.
I finally am going to have a bit of a break after about one year of stuff straight!
I have loved all the good stuff but I am all pooped out from the plays and the party and whatnot.
I looked at the trees and the fields and I felt a great peace come over me.
I really needed that moment.
This year has been  rewarding but also very difficult …. with George’s Dad passing and Otto and various other things that have happened to me over the last year.
It has brought me to this time of reflection and breath.
I have been happy  and grateful for the great blessings  that I have received, the work and the Dora’s….oh and my award from Sheridan College… who knew?….. oh and the continued love and support of my dear George.
These things reaffirm to  me that I am on the right path and to trust my heart keep on keepin‘ on.
I feel like after a great deal of searching and hard work I have had some small measure of success.
I have struggled to find my voice since I can remember.
I thought that maybe it might be musical theatre…. where I discovered my first triumphs…. where the kids in highschool who I thought were cool wanted to sit at my lunch table.
I felt accepted and drawn to do more.
But when,  at the age of 24 I did my first cabaret… I never wanted to leave the stage and cried when it was over…. I remember telling George a story I had written  for that, my very first show and he laughed…. wow… George never really laughs… I must be funny…… or something anyway.
All those years since then I have been writing and trying to find my voice in this world…. not just theatre… but the WHOLE world.
Wanna hear something strange?
Some don’t like to see others search wholeheartedly for  their bliss.
And I believe that I have found it… at least the bliss that will lead me to the next and the next….I am hearing a voice that is my own and everyday I endeavour  to summon the courage to speak with it.
It sounds so easy… but it was a journey and a half to get to it.
And the greatest surprise to me is others reactions to that.
Some are so unfailingly supportive and helpful.
Others react a different way.
They gossip or spread rumours or just throw out negative energy .
It was a great shock…. that reaction.
I believe that we teach people how to treat us.
I am going to try and  be a better teacher.
Again…. it has been a hell of a year.
I learned to speak up… speak out…. look for love and help when I need it…. oh ya…. and not cower in fear.
That is a year full of lessons I will, no doubt, have to relearn… but I feel like I have had a kick at the can…. maybe I will do better next time.
 

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